Dead ‘N Gone 

I think there comes a point in every low time of your life when you suddenly snap out of it. Yes, the problem is still there, but you get the strength and the willpower to not let that problem ruin your happiness or ruin your day.

Sitting around and having a pity party for yourself gets you nowhere, so why bother? It’s tempting to dwell on the past and thrive on the memories, but when something isn’t an option anymore…you can’t just sit around waiting for it to possibly become one. Life goes on no matter what, and you can choose to mope or grow stronger. Today, I choose strength.

 

Learning Life from Eminem? Alright.

So I started my very first job; I’m a part-time bank teller at Simmons First National Bank, and I couldn’t be more satisfied with myself. I started last week, and I can already feel myself sinking into the rhythm of what is expected from me. It feels natural…walking into work, grabbing coffee from the break room, making sure my drawer is balanced, making jokes with all the other employees.

BUT there is always a but.

While I enjoy the actual working aspect, I do not enjoy the amount of time it sucks out of my day. I feel as if my grades are dropping, my social life is lacking, and I’m running out of energy because I don’t have time to sleep.

Long story short: I have become peanut butter spread way too thin on that piece of bread we call life, and I just may be losing my mind.

It doesn’t help that while my mind is deviously running away from me, there have been several bombs dropped on me. And I don’t mean tiny little smoke bombs; I’m talking Hiroshima here, guys…

I refuse to go into it, because everything is extremely personal and to be quite frank, I’m just tired of thinking about it. I’m laughing so hard right now, because I can’t believe I’m actually about to put this quote in here…but it makes sense. And it fits. And let’s face it…Eminem is freaking awesome.

And I refuse to feel sorry for myself. Because sometimes life gets harder, and sometimes disappointments become more and more frequent. But that’s when you fight back. That’s when you get stronger.

“Imma be late for the pity party, but you’re never gonna beat me to the f***ing punch again”             -Marshall Mathers

 

Tenacity

The sunshine bounces off the pavement
Glaringly bright in her cloudy eyes
Contrite,
But she always seems to smile

She has the endowment of grace
Never letting anybody see through her face
Her mask
Blocking out how she truly feels

Remaining forever a mystery
Occasionally,
Even to her
She cannot seem to find the right words
Only her indistinct fears can be heard

The Cycle

She’s a romantic
Viewing the world through naive eyes
She is only deluding herself
Perfection can never be reached
She waits patiently
For her heart to accept what her mind already knows
She’s only capable of seeing black and white
Therefore soon falling into cynicism
But she is too pure to stay there
She claims to have a desire to understand the grey
But what her heart truly aches for is the perfection
So she slowly returns to her abusive relationship with idealism
And therefore the cycle never ends
It is only a matter of time before she is hurt again
Her expectations shattered into thousands of pieces
Then she will again be waiting patiently
For her heart to accept what her mind already knows
Idealist to cynic to idealist
Round and round she goes
It’s always the same