Mindlessness: Having no intelligent purpose, meaning, or direction. Giving or showing little attention or care.
These past few (or five) months since the breakup, I’ve spiraled and then gotten right back up on my feet. For the better. I had a drive in me that felt foreign, quite frankly. I loved that drive. Maybe I still have it, but I feel like I may be losing myself again.
I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t have time to focus on things that I want to focus on. I work all the time, quit my sorority, rush through my homework, and stress, stress, stress. I have been relying on God, and I felt like I was going through an immensely fruitful period, but now I feel dry. I feel fruitless. I feel as if all the amazing process I was making has gotten up on its own accord and walked its happy little ass away. If I’m being honest here, I feel useless and purposeless.
I keep praying for God to awaken that fire in me that was only so recently burning so bright…but it’s still missing. I don’t want it gone. I need it back.
I realize a lot of my problems come from procrastination. I need to break away from that.